Hello! If you don't know me I'll start off by saying I've self-published 8 books, I've written for 30 years, studied the traditional and indie publishing games for just as long, and I ran a writer's critique circle for authors chasing traditional publishing for 15 years.
That's what I'd like to talk about today and give you some tips I've learned the hard way from critique group involvement and what you can/should gain and what you should watch out for.
The first thing you need to always remember...ALWAYS. Reviews are not critiques. Reviews are opinions and can be given by people who have no idea what they're talking about but think they do (or they could be very knowledgeable). The point is, you don't know. If you must read your reviews (which a lot of authors recommend you don't, I read mine but I can take it when people don't like it), then don't think they're the same as a critique.
A critique is actual editing type advice from another writer/professional/someone knowledgeable. It is completely different than a review. It will give you clear pointers on what they didn't like/what didn't work and what they did like/what worked from a professional point of view.
When I leave reviews personally I play up the strengths and downplay or don't mention what I didn't like. If you ask me for a critique I will shred your work because I assume that's what you are asking for, you want a bloody edit to make your writing stronger. If you don't want to be torn apart be very careful what kind of critique circle you go to (or who you ask to do it for you). If you aren't prepared for what they are (if you think they'll be like a review) you will be shocked, hurt, stunned....all sorts of bad things. If you're prepared for it you can take what is useful and know what isn't and walk away a stronger writer.
Another important thing: YOU should NOT get angry and argue back. You can explain your point of view, thank them, move on, ignore it. But do not argue/fight back with someone just because you got hurt by what you said. I saw this a lot in critique circles and I had to kick people out for it. Remain professional. If you can't you might not be ready for a critique circle.
I actually don't do critiques anymore because I didn't enjoy tearing up other people's writing even when they asked me to. I'd much rather be the supportive person giving tips than being honest about things I see. And I've been told I sound snarky and harsh in text which is the opposite of what I actually am behind the scenes.
Disclaimer: I don't believe that multi-genre writer's critique groups are effective. You may find out differently but since I write fantasy I found it very difficult to use advice from people writing literary fiction, or romance, or other genres that were very different with different expectations than my own. If you go into one of these groups make sure you have a solid knowledge of your genre's expectations and can weigh all advice against it so you don't actually hurt your book.
Writing groups and critique groups can be extremely valuable. They can also be extremely damaging. Before you go into one you need to know what you feel is invaluable to your story and what makes it uniquely yours. And what you are willing to bend on as far as advice. When you get into the circle you need to be able to stick to your guns when it comes down to something you feel is important for your story.
I will give you a few examples:
When I was fifteen I got brave enough to throw my first novel into a critique circle for writers chasing traditional publication. These circles are HARSH because they have to be because getting through even the slush pile at a big house is a terrible hurdle most times. Even getting an agent can be difficult. I was a young person and determined. I had shared my work with friends that loved everything about it so I was confident it was good.
My first chapter got slammed so hard with so many different points of view of what was wrong that I got overwhelmed and I rewrote that chapter 100 times trying to please everyone. Do you know what happened? I didn't please anyone, I hated it myself, and it was an unreadable mess when we were done writing it by committee. You absolutely can't do that. If you're a people pleaser you have to understand you will not please everyone.
Example 1:
One opinion was that my favorite character (the good guy) was boring and no one wanted good guy characters anymore and my villain and anti hero were much more interesting so I should write them. Since I was young and I had a writer's crush on my good character this crushed me. I still hesitate to write him to this day even though I know they were wrong. This is why taking advice to this level where it hurts you is a very bad thing. If you can understand going in that they're not going to like some stuff and refuse to budge on what's important you will be much better off than I was. I ended up shelving my hero and using my villain instead (which also ended badly for other reasons).
Example 2:
One piece of really bad advice that I remember from a critique group was that I had to gender swap some of my characters. I write mostly male characters. I have nothing against female ones I just don't connect with them on the same level and I don't write them as well (even though I'm female, I grew up with mostly masculine influence in my life). I had a coming of age epic fantasy four young male elves that met and traveled together to save the world. I was told I had to change at least two of them to female to balance it out (even though they had a strict patriarchal society and that didn't make any sense to the way that world worked).
You need to keep in mind that although these are other writers and sometimes your peers, they are not perfect either. Every time I gave a critique I was VERY careful to try to say this is just my opinion, if you see it that way then it's helpful, if you don't that's okay. I really hope people in my circle don't tell the same stories about the bad advice I gave them but they might!
Like I said though they can be invaluable feedback especially for new authors if you go in there with the strength to stand up and not be swayed or hurt by criticism. And being in a harsh critique circle CAN numb you to criticism.
DO NOT join one thinking everyone's going to fawn over your stories and tell you they're perfect like your friends did. They aren't. And they shouldn't if they're any good. They should be able to point out your weak points and help you improve though. It can be very hurtful if no one's ever done it to your work before and you've only had praise. Just remember though they are trying to help (hopefully, if they're just spiteful and don't like you then leave). THEY ARE ONE OPINION. Do not change everything about your book/style/writing and hate yourself because of what one person said. What one person hates another one will love. If you love your story I can promise you there's at least one other person in the world that will as well. Don't take their word as gospel either, consider it, if you think they're right check it out (especially grammar, for instance, I'm good at content editing and I can tell you where your plot holes are, but I'm terrible with knowing where a comma goes).
When I get edits now they barely even sting most times because I see them as what they are. Helpful comments that I can ignore if I need to. Just pointers on what could be improved in the eyes of one person. If you can distance yourself from them like that it is so much more helpful. Not reacting with the instant anger and hurt that they didn't like it is a skill you'll need to learn, especially if you want to be in a writer's group.
You can make really great friends, colleagues, and get a lot of great support especially in groups that are good and will give you GOOD feedback as well as negative. (If they aren't balancing it out good/bad points you need to leave.)
There is something incredible about being involved with a set group and helping them develop their stories and getting help from the same people. I really enjoyed the fact that I could see people grow and watch their stories go from rough to something amazing. 99% of the time all they needed was some help to learn the craft and nothing was wrong with the creative side. And I learned a lot of invaluable things myself about how I write, my strengths, and my weaknesses by being in the circles I was in. (Still didn't learn where to put a comma though! HA!)
So if you're still learning the craft or want your work to be the best it can be then I would definitely look into a genre-specific writer's critique circle. But only if you're sure it's going to help you rather than damage you. If it's going to drive you away from writing, hurt you to get harsh feedback, or otherwise discourage you I would recommend staying away until you know how to deal with these things.
Just some of the aspects of them that I don't think a lot of people know or really think about before they go into one. If you can find a great one, then that's awesome and I fully support you joining! You can learn so many great things about your writing and how other people write and how to strengthen your work.
You still should have an editor/proofreader and beta readers after that though.
Hopefully this helps someone! Thanks for reading my rambling.